Thursday, January 05, 2006

Rat-Like Creatures

We've been out of touch for a few days, and I may not have internet access again for a few more days. We'll see. But while I can get in here I thought I would tell you about an evolution theory told to me by a hotel clerk in Higgins, AR. We were just passing through on our way elsewhere and spent the night at this lovely and wonderful Super 8 and the night clerk was named Gerald and he told me this story:

"I was walking on the left side of the sidewalk as I often do, since it was Friday, and I noticed in the window of the Piggly Wiggly a shopping cart that glistened. I did a double take and looked again, and this time it winked at me. Yes, I know it sounds silly, but that shopping cart winked at me. That was when I heard the loud whoooshing sound down the street and noticed a strange rat-like animal emerge from the front door of the local genetic-engineering lab. It was bigger than a possum. It had wings, but didn't seem to be able to fly. It had blueish gray fur. My theory is that this creature is the owner of the lab and is working on a cure for the baldness he was so clearly trying to hide with that hideous toupee. And indeed, I started watching every morning and evening and he comes and goes every day just like everyone else. And then one day this week he arrived without the toupee! And he was no longer bald! I say this rat is toying with the laws of nature and should be stopped, and his evil genetic engineering lab too."

Well, so far as that goes, maybe he's right, but another equally plausible theory is that an alien is disguising himself as a giant rat-like creature with the intent of fooling the lab employees while he works on breeding a part for his biological-spaceship so he can return home soon. I wish him "good luck" at getting off this planet.


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