Friday, December 02, 2005

The War on Christmas

The War on Christmas has begun in earnest this season. Check out my book review of The War on Christmas by John Gibson.

It turns out that this war has a long history. In fact, it goes back to 3000BC when the Emperor Farbush IV enacted the Edict of Harmon outlawing the cutting of spruce trees, which is interesting since Christmas wasn't invented for another 3500 years.

Be that as it may, the holiday celebrations of Christmas have their origin in a little known evolutionary advantage that humans have in their genome. It is on the 541st gene, located on the 13th pair. It causes some people to listen to the same songs repeatedly for the month of December and to redecorate their homes every holiday, and it is called the Christmas Gene. 15% of the American public lack this gene, and thus do not celebrate Christmas.

Bill O'Reilly and John Gibson have made it their latest cause to promote genetic engineering science so that the 15% of unbelievers can have their genes reprogrammed by the end of the month, in time to celebrate Christmas with the rest of us. This is truly an act of kindness and charity that Bill O'Reilly and John Gibson are performing for this 15% of Americans who are clearly sick and unevolved.

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