Thursday, December 22, 2005

The History of ID in America

Since Intelligent Design Creationism has been irremedially smacked-down, I think now is the time to discuss the history of ID in America.

It turns out that the History of ID in America began in Germany in 1332 when Martin Luther Stanhausen first nailed the 10 principles of ID Creationism on the Steeple of his church. Now you may ask what this crazy German Monk nailing things to his roof where people couldn't possibly have been expected to climb up and read them might have to do with America. And this I tell you: He was an American in disguise. He wasn't crazy, and he wasn't a monk at all.

The 10 Principles of ID Creationism, by the Monk Martin, as retold by Philip Johnson, American Architect of the Pantheon in Rome, in 1933 Berlin:

10. God created everything.
9. Evolution is a theory of how God created everything.
8. Evolution is wrong....
7. Therefore God created everything.
6. The irreducible complexity of the male nipple is all the proof you need.
5. If you need more proof, look at those bacterial machines
4. Look closer.... closer.... There it is! The machines! It's the machines!
3. The Design of the Mt. Rushmore mountain is evidence of the Intelligently Designed People.
2. So too was the NH "Old Man of the Mountain" until it collapsed two years ago. Now it is evidence of the Intelligent Design of the Cog Railway up the side of the mountain to nowhere.
1. If that's not proof, then I don't know what is. God is in the details. Less is More.

Those 10 points, stapled to a steeple by a monk named Stanhausen, are now the basis for all ID thought in America. And they have now been completely and irretrievably repudiated by the activist judges in Dover, PA.

UPDATE: More on the Future of the History of ID in America from Red State Rabble, The Loom, and Dispatches from the Culture Wars. Do you really want to know everything about ID that there is to know? Well, these fine bloggers will give it all to you - for FREE! Also, eSkeptic sure has a lot to say.

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