Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Devil's Due

The Devil is an odd and particular type of creature that lives in the forests of New Guinea. There are not many devils left in the wild, for they are hunted for their "horn" which is considered an aphrodisiac in Chinese Medicine. All remaining wild Devils are descended from the one true original Devil, Beelzebub, also known as Bob in some sections of Calculus III at the University of Michigan.

The Devils that are still living in the forests of Borneo are gentle and subtle creatures, not given to giant rousing shows of power like their forbears. No, they are peaceful while they can be. But they enter into the course of human evolution every now and then just for the fun of it. Like now.

See, in 1932 the United States entered a pact with the Devil, signed off by Congressional Leaders. The Devil agreed to raise up the United States to sole Superpower status by the end of the century, which it did. And now the Devil wants it's due. And so the Devil has decided to become The King Over us All, and there does not appear to be anything we can do about it. For this reason, we shall all become vassals; we shall bow down to the Devil King and rue the day we ever thought we could live without him. The Devil is nigh, and now we are affeared. All of Human History has come to this: The Day the Devil came to Collect his Due.

Fortunately, this is only a theory.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm confused - are you trying to say that Bush is the Devil? Or is it Cheney? What exactly is this post really about, and what does it have to do with evolution?

9:05 AM  

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