Monday, December 05, 2005

Desmond the Shaman Lizard

My masters have decided that I am being a little too flippant in my dismissal of certain, shall we say... "religious" theories of evolution. I don't think so. I think I have given them a fair hearing. But one of my masters in particular has demanded that I share with you this particular theory of evolution, that comes from the ancient and most wise Book of the Shaman Lizards (Jefferson Press, Middleton, MN, 1922, reprinted 2002):
Desmond the great and powerful Shaman is a Lizard of remarkable coloring - his scales are blue and yellow and red and green and they shimmer in the sunlight with the drops of dew dancing on his coat.

Desmond and his cohort Garranamal have ruled the Lizard seas for all eternity, and before. Together they have determined all the lower Lizards and their positions in the Pantheon. They have given form to the Frogs and let the Frog rulers Trudy and Barry carry on spreading the seas throughout the knwon Universe. Praise Desmond; Bless Garranamal.

They have brought into being all the Geckos, and given the Gecko rulers Harry and Celia dominion over all the plants and the trees, up to 12 feet in height. Praise Desmond; Bless Garranamal.

They have shown the light to the Dragons and delegated the creation of the Humans to the Dragon Coven known as the Wanderers. Praise Desmond; Bless Garranamal.
Well, I certainly hope that satifies my masters, at least for the coming week. I hope they don't force me to publish the next "Religious" theory on their list, the Theory of Brainless Zombies and their Masters.


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