Saturday, October 29, 2005

The Giant Garraga

The Giant Garraga was large and vicious and smelly. He ruled over the continent Gonwanaland with his magic, keeping charge of all the fantastical creatures who lived there - the unicorns and the fairies and the dragons too. One day these creatures grew tired of Garraga's vicious rule over them, and so they called out to the other fantastical creatures who lived on the other continents, like the leprechauns and the trolls and the vampires and sharks too, and asked for their help in overthrowing him.

And in return for payment of three hundred million motes of fairy dust, the trolls took them up on their offer. An army of 40 thousand trolls came crashing over the ocean waves and landed on the shores of Gonwanaland. They marched over mountains and across rivers and through snow storms and under cloudy skies and rested on the beaches of Southern California and continued their journey across salted plains and through caves deeper than the deepest caves they had ever seen before too.

And when they came to the capitol city of Odenwerks, Garraga's capitol city, they stormed the gates and killed all the inhabitants and took Garraga captive. The fairies then gave them their payment of dust motes, and had the trolls tie Garraga up with ropes of pure spun gold. He was tied to stakes on the ground, splayed out for all to see. Then the unicorns came and stabbed him. Then the dragons came and burned him. Then the sharks came and torn him limb from limb. And they scattered the limbs across the whole continent so no part could ever be brought back together - for they were afraid of Garraga's powerful magical abilities and thought maybe he would be able to reconstitute himself, which he would have been able to do if they hadn't scattered his parts so far apart. That was good for them.

But what wasn't so good for them was that the parts of Garraga, the thousands of tiny bits and pieces scattered over Gonwanaland, were all still a little bit alive. And these parts started vibrating and shaking and moving. And the pieces of Garraga's arms shook and shimmied and came alive and formed out of the pebbles into the birds in the sky.

And Garraga's leg pieces also shook causing the earth to shake with them. In the ensuing earthquakes the ground split open and the molten magma of the earth was released and together with the bits of legs the beasts of the plains were created and rose up out of the fiery rivers of lava released on the earth and strode across great distances and filled the plains of the continent.

The rest of Garraga's body was like gelatin, jiggling bits of juicy goop bobbling on the edges of the continent, and they fell into the oceans and grew to become all the fish and underwater beasts of the sea.

Finally, Garraga's head was left, and the fairies took all the pieces of the head and scattered them even further than the other pieces. They took them to the four corners of the earth, and crushed them, smashed the bits into the earth and rubbed them deep into the ground to make sure they were never going to be grown into any new beasts. But they were wrong, and out of the earth came a new creature, from the last bits of Garraga's head. This new creature was fearsome and killed all the fairies and dragons and unicorns and the leprechauns and vampires and trolls, too. This creature took dominion over the entire earth and crushed it's enemies. This creature that came from Garraga's head was the fiercest animal ever to be released upon the earth, and this creature was Man.

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