Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Polix Prime

While traveling in far flung parts of this country, I often encounter crazy people. Usually I discount everything they tell me, for instance last May a man told me that George Bush is an alien from the planet Zarcon and he's intent on conquering the world for the Zarconians. This is patently false, and crazy, as we all know it is Dick Cheney who is the alien.

Another time I was traveling along minding my own business when a crazy lady tells me this story:
There are sixteen forms to the alien worlds of the Polix Galaxy, and eight of them are already here on earth, feeding off of the frenzy of the hurricane rescue workers in New Orleans. Halliburton provides their food supply, and Blackhawk provides their security. Nobody knows what they are here for, except me. I was the mistress of the Inpotart of Polix Prime and he told me why they have sent eight forms to earth. It is because we are a doomed planet. We have a molten core of snakes that are slithering around inside the earth as we speak, and soon they will be released by the 12th form and then these snakes will be doing the bidding of Tom Delay as he carves out his own personal pornographic empire. It is at that point that Rick Santorum will be revealed to be the long lost 3rd form from Polix Xtreeme, and he will judge the finals.

Therefore they are positioning the National Guard in the Middle East to allow for a more modest entry force to take over the US eastern seaboard from the air. Then the snakes are released and the empire is overtaken by the Polixeans and the end of our species is on hand. Only those who are well-chosen will evolve into the next form, the 17th form. They will carry on the human race on Polix Shigurard itself, and we will then be able to take our place among the grand inquisitive species of the Universe. All other life on earth will be obliterated. Evolution will have been completed. The sun will go out. And soon there will be darkness through the solar system. But the lucky 17th forms will be long since moved to the other side of the parallel universe. i.e. gone. Long since evolved. Lucky bastards.
Now, I would normally have discounted this tale, but it turns out that I had the flu at the time, and did not have my normal resistance required to discount it. So here it is for you to read and puzzle over, just as I have for the last 7 months.


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