Friday, September 16, 2005

Hearts and Souls

An interesting theory on non-parallel creation/evolution from Auguste.
Frogs don't have hearts. After all, the heart is the seat of the soul, and frogs don't have souls. "But Auguste," I hear you asking, "how do frogs circulate blood?" I hear you ask.

Well, I'm glad you did. What they do is, they feed on your babies at night. Then they expand their throat sacs and in one mighty "ribbit" they expell the still-warm and super-oxygenated blood of infants into every corner of their body, where it remains for the day, slowly diffusing oxygen into their tissues.

But don't fear - frogs are small enough that they can't possibly steal all of your babies' blood, so the baby wakes up feeling relaxed and only slightly anemic and asthmatic. No problem. But aren't you glad that God created frogs without hearts? That way they only steal your babies' blood, not their soul - because the frog has nowhere to keep a stolen baby soul.

You know who does steal babies' souls? Gays getting married in Massachussetts. It's part of the liturgy.
First seen on Pharyngula.


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