Thursday, September 29, 2005

H57/P57

The chemical compound H57/P57 is found in all life forms on Earth. Without it, we would all starve to death. Our hunger would be insatiable. Our appetites would be outrageous. We would never be able to supress our natural urges. Such is the power of P57/H57.

So where did this chemical come from? Not from Earth. This chemical was first discovered on the Moon in the year 2234BC by Hoodia II. The planet was experiencing environmental devastation greater than had ever been seen before that time, and the ruler of Earth was looking for a way to curb the appetites of the planet that was eating itself. And he found it on the moon. He concocted a rocket that would shoot the chemical high into the air and let it dissolve in the atmosphere, raining down on us even unto today. Thus as we breathe we ingest the P57/H57 chemical, and thus our environment is still safe from eating itself to oblivion.

This has been found to be the only way to prevent evolution from advancing any further, and thus destroying everything that we hold dear.

To test this theory, we have 20 people in isolation booths around the world. And each one was told to breathe on a schedule. Those who breathed more often were found to be less hungry than those who breathed less. Having established this crucial part of the puzzle, we then went and isolated the parts in the air, and did the same experiment again, but this time having the subjects breathe either pure oxygen, pure nitrogen, pure carbon dioxide, or pure P57/H57. The results should be coming in by February 12, 2007. We'll let you know how it works out for the subjects.

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