Sunday, August 21, 2005

Ignorant Bastards

This theory has six parts:
  1. Nobody here can claim the mantle of Universal Intelligence.
  2. Nobody here can claim the mantle of Universal Designer.
  3. Nobody here can personally Evolve.
  4. Nobody here is the personal precursor to a fully evolved species.
  5. Nobody here is responsible for the evolved state of the world today.
  6. Nobody here knows.
The great thing about this theory is that it doesn't actually speak to any of the issues that cause arguments. For instance: Are cell structures irremedially complex? Are there signs of Evolution to be found in fossils scattered on planets throughout the known Universe? What happened to the fourth-level missing link? How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Is the Discovery Institute real or a figment of my overheated imagination?

This theory has nothing to say about any of these issues. Instead, if you read it carefully, you see that it has much to say about one small corner of the evolutionary debate: Whatever the Universe is doing right now, wherever it is choosing to do it, it will do just fine without us, for we are the ignorant bastards.


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