Sunday, August 21, 2005

Biomechanoid B77301

Hamumu speaks of a biomechanoid theory of creation and evolution, and of the pyramids too:

In 2093, the race of biomechanical robots we constructed that took over and made us into slaves that they harvest for repair organs built a time machine. A group of renegade humans from an underground resistance invaded the time machine complex, and in attempting to destroy it, they triggered it in an unstable fashion. There was an explosion of tachyon particles and the humans and biomechanoids nearby were all disintegrated and torn into bits, which were thrown back through the timestream to 4000BC (where the earth was just an empty husk, no signs of life). One of the biomechanoids remained just intact enough to attempt to rebuild the tissue he saw into more working biomechanoids. He tried and tried, for 7 days and nights, before his power cells overloaded and exploded, creating the Grand Canyon. But in those 7 days, he had made millions of failed experiments (his brain was badly damaged during the time travel), which we now know today as the incredible diversity of life on this planet. Since then they haven’t evolved of course, because evolution is a ridiculous lie by atheistic neodarwinist fundamentalists. They were all made by the biomechanoid, B77301.

Luckily all the animals had wandered away before the explosion, by the way, except for the dinosaurs who were too slow and were immediately fossilized in the blast (the story of plants is an interesting sidenote: he made millions of different kinds of seeds, and fired them skyward in disgust as they turned out to not be biomechanoids like himself, where they were carried on the wind and took root all around the world). If you hear of any fossils found anywhere other than the Grand Canyon, it’s all a hoax - they were collected there and shipped elsewhere by neodarwinists in order to support their perverted worldview.

Oh, and he also built the pyramids.

Truly, a convincing theory. I would only add the possibility that there was more than one biomechanoid at work that day. Maybe two. How else to explain mushrooms?

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